Our lives are often ruled by fears, even for the most seemingly successful people.
What’s it about?
Susan Jeffers’ classic on understanding and dealing with fears. How to turn your fear and indecision into confidence and action.
Feel the Fear And Do it Anyway:
Everyone has fears in their life and they can be broken down into three levels.
Level One Fears. These are the surface story. Fears that happen such as aging, becoming disabled, retirement, being alone, children leaving home, natural disasters, loss of financial security, change, dying, war, illness. Also fears that require action such as going back to school, making decisions, changing career, making friends, ending or beginning a relationship, public speaking, using the telephone, asserting oneself, losing weight, being interviewed, driving.
Level Two Fears. Behind level one fears are level two fears, fears to do with the ego. Rejection, Success, Failure, Being Vulnerable, Being Conned, Helplessness, Disapproval, Loss of Image. All these fears are to do with inner states of mind. They are generalized fears and can affect many areas of a person’s life. A fear of rejection will affect friends, relationships, job interviews etc…
Level Three Fear. At the bottom of every fear is the fear that you can’t handle whatever life may throw at you. All fears all translate to the level three fear:
- I can’t handle illness.
- I can’t handle a mistake.
- I can’t handle losing my job.
- I can’t handle getting old.
- I can’t handle being alone.
- I can’t handle making a fool out of myself.
- I can’t handle success.
- I cant handle failure.
- I can’t handle being rejected.
- And so on and so forth….
- To diminish your fear you must trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way. If you’re feeling fear this means you are not feeling good enough about your abilities to cope. Develop trust in yourself, say to yourself: “Whatever happens to me, given any situation, I can handle it.”
- Fear will never go away as long as you continue to grow. As long as you set new goals, take new risks, challenge yourself, you will always feel some fear.
- The only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it. The ‘doing it’ comes before the fear goes away. There is no waiting until you feel better.
- The only way to feel better about something is to go out and do it. Many successful people have felt fear and pushed through it.
- Everyone feels fear whenever they are on unfamiliar territory. Even Presidents and CEOs feel fear doing something new.
- Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness. Everyone feels fear as they move through life. The more helpless we feel, the more severe is the undercurrent of dread we have facing situations we know we have no control over.
So Commit! Commit yourself to pushing through the fear and becoming more than you are at the present moment. The you that could be is absolutely colossal. You don’t need to change what you are doing – simply commit to learning how to bring whatever you do in life the loving and powerful energy of your Higher self.
Choosing to Say Yes
Charles chose to rehabilitate himself after a being paralyzed from the waist down. Before the accident, Charles had been blind to the fact his life had meaning. Now he believes he was more handicapped before the accident; only since then has he derived satisfaction from living.
Genuine giving is altruistic and makes us feel better. Give away your thanks, time, money, and love. When we give from a place of love, rather than a place of expectation, we usually get more back to us than we imagine.
Take Away Points and Context
- Our lives are often ruled by fears, even the most seemingly successful people. These fears can be understood on different levels. Understanding our fears and their underlying causes is one step to helping us strengthens our ability to cope with whatever life throws at us.
- Trying is more important than success. Understanding and strengthening our ability to cope with our fears means we can take more risks. Changing beliefs and habits take time. We all have a right to a life free of fear.
- Understand you fears and then…do it anyway.
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